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Well i have struggled with gambling for about 12 years now.

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dont even know where to start or what to say....
Started out with slots 12 years ago, it got worse and worse and worse.
used to be couple hundred off paychecks, then whole paychecks
then borrowing money to gamble
likely down somewhere around 35 to 40,000 dollars since then.
I won a couple times , 1000 here, couple hundred there, maybe another 1000 over there
put it all back and then more. you know how it goes the win sucks you in
then won 10,000 last year online slots...paid some debt off and oh boy that suckered me in big time
well now i got a visa maxed out at 10,000 and a mastercard at 6000 with 20% interest. lol

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all on gambling, never mind the money off pay cheques ..
even when i win i never cash out and stop, even when big amounts like 5000 or 8000
i just up my bets and lose it all
like i always do... greedy want more i guess,
Not even all that crazy about money, like when i have it, i gamble
when i dont have it i still gamble ... what the heck??
sometimes i think i am addicted to the losing not the winning...
i have a kid coming in one month. i have been laid off work,
i have ruined my life and hurt those around me and now my unborn child and my wife will have to
suffer too. I AM THE BIGGEST LOSER.. there is no way back...
i feel suicide the best, although i dont even have life insurance.
I always say i will stop... never do..
i dont get it.,. i dont understand it.. i want to stop... i really do... why cant i
im not stupid, i used to shake my head at people like me wasting there money.,
WHY CANT I STOP. I am so weak of a person i guess..

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I HAVE TO JUST STOP no one will or can make me stop but me... I understand this.. but i just cant freaking stop!!! it just dont make sense.. Okay... So, I admit I have a problem gambling! I am currently using 2 sites to do all my gambling! One of which is a sportsbook that has casino and I am currently down about $4K since the start of this problem! I would be up $1000 and then the next day lose it all plus loose $500 more or so!

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So, I realized I had a problem and have spoken with my wife about the situation and now she thinks I have quit but the truth is I haven't!

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I find myself thinking about gambling as I fall asleep and first thing when I wake up! HOW CAN I GET OVER THINKING ABOUT IT ALL THE TIME?
Also, currently for the week I am up on one account $650 and down on the other $300! One of my book's is cutting off the casino starting next week so there is the answer to one of the problems! The other book has a limit of $250 per day and I am thinking of texting him and telling him to set the limit to $100 per day but should I try to win my $250 back tomorrow and if I do how do I stop gambling all together!